Losing a loved one is one of the most difficult situations any of us ever have to face. But losing a loved one doesn’t have to mean death.
What happens when your partner, someone you’ve loved and felt close to for many years, suddenly decides they want out of the relationship? The emotional pain of a breakup can be truly devastating.
Things get even worse if you find out your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife has been unfaithful and is dumping you to be with someone else. Infidelity crushes your self-esteem, causes immense heartache, and often has long-lasting effects.
After a breakup, the first place you’ll likely turn to for support is your friends. If you’re a woman, you’ll probably hear stuff like, “I never liked him anyway. He’s such a jerk. You are definitely better off without him.”
If you’re a man, your friends will likely say something like, “Bro, you just need to get laid. Get over her by getting under someone else as soon as possible! We’ll take you out tonight and get you a hook up!” Then, they pass you a beer…
Your friends mean well of course. They may even make you feel better temporarily. But deep down, the pain will still be there. When you’re alone, your mind will still race, and your heart will still ache for your ex. And that’s ok. That’s normal. It just means you’re human.
In the end, every breakup is unique and different. Even though friends and family will be there to support you along the way, you still need the inner strength to overcome it on your own. Time is your best friend and your most trustworthy ally.
In time, all wounds heal. But what do you do right now? How do you deal with the heartache you currently feel? Here are 4 tips to help you deal with the emotional pain of a breakup.
1. Decide what you truly want from your relationship. Are you willing and able to accept the breakup for the time being? Remember, a “break up” doesn’t mean the relationship is over forever. But you still need to gain control over your emotions and accept it. Otherwise, you’ll never be in the right frame of mind to plan out an effective strategy to get your ex back. Remember, everything will be “ok”.
If you want to get back together with your ex, focus your time and energy on improving yourself and the relationship. Avoid needy and desperate behaviors like excessively calling and texting your ex, begging, pleading, or trying to get in the way of their life.
If you need help, get a guide that teaches you how to get your ex back and follow it. The Text Your Ex Back system by Michael Fiore is excellent, especially if you use text messages to communicate with your ex. You can learn more about it and how it can help you at newspapercat.org .
2. Force yourself to do something constructive. When dealing with the emotional pain of a breakup, your natural urge might be to get depressed, stop eating, and lock yourself in a room where no one can see you cry.
You need to fight this urge. Force yourself to do something constructive. I’ve always found exercise to be extremely helpful. You won’t feel like it at first, but if you force yourself to get started, it becomes truly liberating.
Just make sure to do something exciting like martial arts, mountain climbing, or trail running. Avoid your typical boring trip to the gym running on a treadmill. Why? Because you want to engage both your mind and body so you become distracted from thinking about the relationship.
3. Relax and meditate. This goes along with the “self-care” from step 2. Take time to think. Take time to relax. Find your inner calm and know in your heart that everything will be ok. Because it will be!
Everyone hates the advice, “There are millions of fishes in the sea,” but it’s true. You may feel like your ex is the one and only person for you, but with 7 billion people on the planet, is that really true? Is your ex really the ONLY person you’re compatible with on the entire planet?
If things work out with your ex, awesome! If they don’t, everything will be still be ok! You’ll experience love and happiness! You aren’t going to turn into some lonely hermit who lives alone the rest of their life, even if it feels that way right now.
4. Cut off all contact with your ex. Lastly, if you decide you want to move on from your ex, then the best way to deal with the emotional pain of a breakup is to simply cut off all contact with him or her. Don’t try to remain friends. Don’t try to “hang out” from time to time. Don’t text them just to say “Hi”.
If the relationship isn’t meant to be, then it’s better for both parties to just cut ties and move on with their lives. Otherwise, the emotional pain just keeps reoccurring. It also makes future relationships with other people a lot more difficult if you maintain a close friendship with your ex.
Remember, it always takes time for the pain to subside. You can’t rush it, but rest assured it will go away, and you’ll be just fine! Till then, be strong.